Let Me Go

Writhing in pain
I can't stand these chains
Blood seeps into my soul
The harbinger of sorrow

The pain that I've caused
Hopes and dreams lost
My essence tainted black
There's no turning back

Let me go
Let me go
You may be a saint
But you can't save my soul

So just let me go

Thoughts At Night

              He listens to his and your quiet, even breaths, and listens to the comfortable silence in his bedroom. You’re both lying down on the floor, both staring up the blue ceiling, both lost on your own thoughts.

            This happens from time to time. It’s natural, sometimes almost a habit for the two of you. He finds it a little funny. He wonders if it’s a best friend thing. He wonders about the whole staring up the ceiling thing—there’s nothing there, no answers, nada. But you both do it anyway. He finds that funny too. It occurs to him that he’s thinking a lot tonight, something highly unusual for him—well, males in general. Funny.

            Though there’s nothing funny about your classmate offing himself.

You sigh. He turns his head to look at you. You’re still staring at the ceiling. He watches your eyes, clear and deep, reflecting light. He watches your profile silently, but you don’t need to turn or hear him speak to know his question.

“I don’t get it.” You say out loud. “I don’t get why they’re drilling us about it, as if we were the ones to blame. As if we could’ve done something to stop him. Maybe we could. I don’t know…” You shift a little. “But how are we to be blamed? We’re teenagers. We worry about exams, homework, whether we’re popular or not, whether we watched that latest movie everyone talking about. We’re shallow. We’re young, immature. He was falling into a black hole; what could we have done to pull him up? How could we have, you know, saved him?”

He covers your hand with his own, still not saying a word. You hold your intertwined hands up against the light, still lost in your track of thoughts. Your tone becomes softer, fainter without you noticing. “I always felt that only extraordinary people could have saved someone like that. Not that they had to be Ghandi or anything but just be… kind enough. Loyal enough. Stubborn enough. Even if we saw what was going on, if we were that, kind enough, loyal enough, stubborn enough; just good enough a person, we might’ve done it, maybe. Maybe I’ve just got a saviour complex, I don’t know. But to be just that, just good enough a person, then—in my opinion, that’s extraordinary. So how could they ask that of us? To be extraordinary?”

“You don’t need to be extraordinary to save someone.” He’s turned to look at the ceiling.

You turn to him this time. “Oh?” He pulls your hand, still in his, over his heart. It beats strongly, surely as always. He closes his eyes.

“If it were you, I could’ve saved you.”

You get it. You smile, turn back and close your eyes.

Butterfly

Their wings were of a light, light blue,

They danced in spirals ever so graceful;

I watched the butterflies dance in sunlight,

Till the azure sky darkened, and thus came night.

It was then that I finally remembered,

Why with that shade of blue I was so taken;

For your eyes too were of that exact same colour,

Which always held my gaze, and filled me with wonder.

But on that night, you were pale and white,

All was hush, and the end was such—

“Farewell.” I remember your words, which were your last;

And within this cold winter, the butterflies dance no longer.

Animi Academy: Entrance

"Welcome, Kaikara Yolen! I'm Ms. Elvira, your new homeroom teacher. Nice to meet you! " The lady smiled brightly at me. I resisted the urge to narrow my eyes at her. She was small, with long black hair and equally dark, innocent eyes. She was shorter than me, and looked as though she was my age. She sure as hell didn't look like a teacher to me.

Against all impulses, I nodded. "Alright, Kaikara, let me give you a quick tour around your new school. This," She said with a voice puffed with pride, "is Animi Academy. 'Animi' literally translates to 'of the mind' in Latin. Cool, huh? Right then, to your left is..."

It was all so bizarre. Here I was, enrolled into a school for special children. No, I am not retarded. Each child in this school--supposedly--had psychic gifts. They scouted all over the world for people with gifts such as mine. Of course, there were only a precious few who really did have the talent. Ms. Elvira stated that there were about three hundred students altogether in this school. It was amusing really, that a school of three hundred students could take up about ten miles squared of land. I wondered if I'd get a house instead of a room as my dorm. As Ms Elvira continued to rabbit on excitedly about the school, I couldn't help but think her very bully-able. She was exactly the type of teacher that students all liked... to ignore.

Shit, I hope she can't read my thoughts.

Suddenly, screams from inside a building--one of the ones that classes were held in--and Ms. Elvira stopped mid-sentence, distracted. "Oh dear," she gasped, looking stunned. A female student was running blindly out of said building, screaming and thrashing as she went. Her hands were fisted tightly into her hair, as if her head was gonna explode.

"Elvira!" I turned to see another student standing not too far from the crazed girl. She was with two girls who were wearing normal clothes like me, cowering behind her. Her silver-gray eyes were distressed. "Hurry up, Elvira, break into her mind!"

Ms. Elvira;s expression was torn. She bit down on her lower lip, looking away. "What's taking you so long?! Just do it!" The girl yelled again. "This isn't the time to be hesitating!"

Another voice rose above the screams of the crazy girl. "I can't get in, Kaelyn! She's gated and guarded!"

"Damn it, Elvira! Just do it!" Finally Ms. Elvira turned to stare at the girl running amok. The girl abruptly stopped screaming, and fell to the ground.

We hurried over to where she lay unconscious. The girl who kept forcing Ms. Elvira also came over. I glared at her from the corner of  my eye. Ms. Elvira might be a pushover, but that girl was being an asshole, acting all high and mighty. Ms. Elvira had looked seriously frightened and stressed out.

"Wow, Ms. Elvira had managed not only to break into her mind, but also control it even though her mind was gated and guarded, not to mention going haywire... No wonder she's one of our most talented teachers." I heard someone gush.

In a whisper, the person beside her said, "Look, there's a guy with her. He must be a new student."

Well no shit, blondie.

"You all can start a fan club for Ms. Elvira for all I care, but do it after class," The gray-eyed girl said sternly, "which you are late for." The girls ran off immediately. "Almost forgot, sorry Kaelyn!" One of them yelled over their shoulder.

Ms. Elvira sighed as she inspected the girl. "I hope I didn't damage anything..." Kaelyn looked annoyed. "Elvira, if you had been one second later--"

"Would you shut up?" I gritted out. "What the hell's your problem? She was the one who did all the work while you were busy yelling, and yet you're still complaining?" She cocked an eyebrow. "And what's it got to do with you?" Ms. Elvira simply watched in open-mouthed fascination.

This girl was really getting under my skin. I spoke without really thinking it through. "As if you did anything useful--you probably couldn't even break into the girl's mind."

Kaelyn narrowed silver-gray eyes at me. Suddenly, an odd sensation crept over my skin. My mouth opened, and I said, "This is one of the things that you can learn here." I tried to shut up but nothing happened. I had no control over my own body. The two girls who were with her previously stared in awe at Kaelyn. "Of course, bending a person's will is considered a very advanced skill, and you would be required to go through many levels of training and be deemed trustworthy to actually start learning this." It was more than unsettling to hear myself say things I didn't know what I was talking about. Hell, everyone did that but this was different--it was literal.

Ms. Elvira giggled. She summoned a couple of male students to carry the fainted girl to the infirmary.

I blinked and just as abruptly I was released from Kaelyn's mind-manipulations. "Come on girls, you have to be registered at the administrator's office." As she turned, she gave me a minus degree glare. "I don't go around asking people to do what I can't do, Yolen."

I only stood there looking like a gaping fish.

Casually, she added, "Oh, and welcome to Animi Academy."

Mutual Feelings

"I wish I could hate you."
The figure behind the desk didn't reply, didn't move. He stared at the grandfather clock to the right, scrutinizing the hands ticking away time.

"So do I."

Discord

"Stop criticizing me all the time!" I yelled, exasperated. "You keep doing it all the time and I can't stand it anymore!"

I was suddenly reminded of a sentence I saw in the newspaper--'A person shouts at another person when in anger because the distance between their hearts is great.'

Her response was instantaneous, her eyes widened slightly, then she raised her voice, not quite shouting yet, "I'm trying to teach you to be a better person, how am I supposed to do that when you always get so defensive and don't listen to me?"

I had had enough. I didn't quite mean to stoop so low as to mention that person, but right then I didn't care. "Haven't you ever thought of why he turned out that way, and that I too am starting to be biased about everything you say?" I took a step forward.

"It's because there's been so many times you're wrong, that we can't trust anymore that you're right."